Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Hello, my darling readers!
We made it to the final Pirates of the Caribbean movie. (At least for now!) Dead Men Tell No Tale is the fifth film of the franchise, so let’s see if it’s worth watching!

The Plot (according to RT):

Thrust into an all-new adventure, a down-on-his-luck Capt. Jack Sparrow feels the winds of ill-fortune blowing even more strongly when deadly ghost sailors led by his old nemesis, the evil Capt. Salazar, escape from the Devil’s Triangle. Jack’s only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, but to find it, he must forge an uneasy alliance with a brilliant and beautiful astronomer and a headstrong young man in the British navy.

The Rating:

Okay, so here is the deal. I binged all movies a while ago with the intention of writing these reviews. And then I didn’t. By the time I actually got around to writing, I had to rewatch the films as I had forgotten all of the details. Not just that, I had completely erased all memory of the existence of the fifth movie. Once I checked Disney+ and saw the list, I remembered that I absolutely hated it. But I figured I’ll have to check it out again. And turns out, the second time around I didn’t loath it quite as much. It’s still a film that was very much unnecessary and that is leeching off of a big franchise to make even more money.
Come to think of it, I might even like this better than the fourth film.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Hey guys!
Another day, another Pirates of the Caribbean movie review. As I’m watching my way through the franchise, I almost made it to the very end. On Stranger Tides is (at the moment) the penultimate film!

The Plot (according to RT):

The checkered past of Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) catches up to him when he encounters Angelica (Penélope Cruz), a beautiful pirate that Jack once loved then left. Angelica forces him to accompany her to the Queen Anne’s Revenge, the ship of the notorious Blackbeard (Ian McShane). Accompanied by a zombie crew, the trio sets sail to find the legendary Fountain of Youth. However, Jack’s rival, Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), also seeks the fountain, as does a ship from Spain.

The Rating:

This is probably my least favorite film in the franchise. As a whole, they failed to capture my interest and make me care for the characters. The only thing going for the film is some shots that are beautiful but otherwise, it’s 137 minutes of my life that I will never get back.

The thing is, there is a lot going on in this film, it’s just that you won’t give a damn about any of it. There is not enough substance to get you invested in any of it. There are a lot of new characters that have about as much depth as a puddle on a sidewalk. While the initial trilogy has many memorable moments, lines and *characters*, you’ll forget you ever saw this one before the credits have finished rolling.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Hello, hello!
Today we’re going to talk about At World’s End which is the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Let’s see whether it is worth checking out!

The Plot (as found on RT):

Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) join forces with Capt. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) to free Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) from Davy Jones’ locker. Meanwhile, the crew of the Flying Dutchman ghost ship wreaks havoc on the Seven Seas. The friends must navigate dangerous waters to confront Chinese pirate Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat) and, ultimately, they must choose sides in a battle wherein the pirate life hangs in the balance.

The Rating:

Ending the second part with a cliffhanger like that was truly evil, so really you have to watch parts 2 and 3 back to back. But somehow to me, this is the downfall of it all. I did enjoy the third installment but definitely less than the first two. And the movie is rather long. I feel like the second one could already have been cut down a bit but then continuing with another too-long picture it really accentuates all the weak spots.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Hello, hello!
After a great start with the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, I’m back to talk about the next installment of the franchise: Dead Man’s Chest. Let’s see if it lives up to the original film!

The Plot (as found on RT):

When ghostly pirate Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) comes to collect a blood debt, Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) must find a way to avoid his fate lest his soul be damned for all time. Nevertheless, the wily ghost manages to interrupt the wedding plans of Jack’s friends Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley).

The Rating:

This was a nice one. It’s not quite as good as the first film, but it will completely dazzle you with stunning shots and amazing CGI that still holds up. There are a lot of funny moments that still make me giggle years after watching this for the first time. Granted, it does drag on at times and the runtime of over two hours might have been cut down – especially when you consider that it ends with a cliffhanger setting things up for another almost three hours long film.

To a large degree, the franchise really lives off of Johnny Depp’s performance. As intriguing as Bloom and Knightley are, his performance is what makes or breaks these films. He surely pulled it off, manages to keep the audience entertained and amused. The film includes many a scene that is iconic by now.

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Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Hello, hello!
We’re going to start another mini-series today. I’ll be reviewing all Pirates of the Caribbean starting, of course, with The Curse of the Black Pearl. Let’s get down to it!

The Plot (according to RT):

Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) arrives at Port Royal in the Caribbean without a ship or crew. His timing is inopportune, however, because later that evening the town is besieged by a pirate ship. The pirates kidnap the governor’s daughter, Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), who’s in possession of a valuable coin that is linked to a curse that has transformed the pirates into the undead. A gallant blacksmith (Orlando Bloom) in love with Elizabeth allies with Sparrow in pursuit of the pirates.

The Rating:

Over the years, I’ve seen this movie an indecent number of times. I don’t even usually watch pirate movies! So, there is no way I can compare how Pirates of the Caribbean holds up to literally any other pirate flick that is not in this franchise, all I can tell you is that this particular film is hell of a good time. The story is really cool, the casting is spot-on, and even after so many years, the CGI holds up surprisingly well.

There are so many quotable moments that have stuck with me over the years and downright hilarious and iconic scenes that will never get old. That is of course to a large part due to Johnny Depp’s performance. His take on Captain Jack Sparrow is what made the movies so special and what contributed substantially to the success of the whole franchise. I mean, I like both Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom in the film, but Depp’s character was the make it or break it part of the film.

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