For Spook-tober I thought it would be a fitting idea to finally check out Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have never ever seen the show, so it’s about time. However, before we can get to the show, we need to take a closer look at the movie that came before!
The Plot (according to Rotten Tomatoes):
For Buffy Summers (Kristy Swanson), nothing is the same after she meets Merrick Jamison-Smythe (Donald Sutherland). Merrick tells the teen that he’s been sent to train her to fight vampires, and he proves himself by displaying his supernatural powers. Buffy is a quick study, and soon takes fellow student Oliver Pike (Luke Perry) under her wing, repeatedly saving him from fierce bloodsuckers. But, when a very dangerous vampire (Rutger Hauer) gets rambunctious, she must go to war again.
I am honestly at a loss for words. The show is has a pretty serious tone as far as I know, so I expected something similar from the movie. Well, its’s not. It’s probably one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen and I’m not sure that was intentional. There are moments where the films seems a tad selfaware – you can’t tell me that anybody would keep some of the scenes on accident. But then again for some part it appears to be an attempt at a serious movie. So, I’m really not sure what to make of it. All I can say is that I had some laughs, but overall I didn’t love the flick.
The most interesting part of the movie was discovering all the faces that would later be very famous. I honestly don’t know how the film turned out this crappy with so many good actors and actresses: Hillary Swank, Donald Sutherland, Luke Perry, Kristy Swanson, David Arquette…
Problem #1: Buffy is an annoying bitch and so are all of her friends. They are the mean girls of their highschool and I’m not here for it. It disliked all of them and even by the end I wasn’t a fan of Buffy. I guess she has a tiny bit of a redemption arc, but not enough to convince me. I honestly did’t care if any of the characters lived or died which is never a good thing.
Also, the movie started with one of the most unnecessary overly long opening sequences I have ever seen in my entire life. It’s a basketball game with a cheerleading performance that seems to go on forever. I think I checked my watch like three times before it was finally over. I’m sorry to say that I was already annoyed with the film after 2 minutes. 😅
Problem #2: the *very* flimsy writing. Does any of this make sense? No. Is even remotely well written? No. Is the dialogue funny or witty? No. Are the fighting sequences good? No. Are the special effects decent? No. What on earth possessed Donald Sutherland to join a project like that?
And don’t even get me started on the weird medival flashback scenes.
The vampires are just something else. From the makeup to the behavoir and most importantly how they expire. I don’t even have words. I mean, I laughed but I’m not sure that was the intention they had in mind. This was just terrible. I’m sorry.
This was not the kick-off I had in mind when I sat down to get started with Buffy. At least the show can’t be any cringy-er than this movie was. If you haven’t seen it, believe me you didn’t miss a thing. Want to know why I laughed? Look up the 2 mintue clip on Youtube, that’s all you need.
Did you watch the film? Let me know in the comments!