Well this year’s christmas was a new low-point. During the last few years I just couldn’t get the christmas spirit anymore, but it never was as shitty as this year. I really tried to get in the right mood, but no matter how hard I tried, it just didn’t work out. First I thought it’s just because I’ve been under a lot of stress throughout the whole December, but who am I trying to fool?

The problem isn’t stress, it’s me. I miss the time when I was a child, when I couldn’t wait for christmas to come, when the hours just wouldn’t pass and almost went nuts waiting for time when I could open my present. Now christmas is just a day. A day that’s nothing special. A day that comes and goes without leaving any impression. I don’t know why it feels so different all I know is that it sucks. There is no impatience in my, no shiny eyes when I get to see the decorated christmas tree. It just, well, there. But if it weren’t there…it wouldn’t bother me much. How the hell can I get back at least some christmas spirit? I don’t want to spend the day just waiting for it to pass by. I want it to be special. At least a little bit.


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